How to have a good divorce | Family Law

The post festive period is traditionally a time when couples consider divorce proceedings.  Whilst separation and divorce is inevitably stressful and can be costly our Harbinder Gosal takes a look at what you can do to make the process as smooth as possible.

Act in haste repent at leisure.

 When going through a separation you will be in turmoil and it can become difficult to make the right decisions.  It is important to allow yourself time to deal with your emotions in order to make sensible decisions.  There is often no rush to finalise matters so allow yourself proper time before making important decisions regarding your future.

Think about the impact on your dependant children. 

Arguments regarding the arrangements for children are sadly all too common.  Priority should be trying to keep the children’s routine as normal as possible and to protect them from witnessing any adult disputes.  Do not criticise your spouse in front of the children and never ask them to take sides.  Children should be reassured that despite any separation that they are loved, supported in having an ongoing relationship with the other parent and none of this is their fault.

Do not play the blame game.

It is natural to want to blame your spouse for the breakdown of the marriage but try not to criticise or argue with them.  As difficult as this can be, try to stay calm and not say anything you will later regret.  Any arguments now could affect your long term goals.  That is not to say you should not stand your ground but be selective about what is important and do not waste your energy on things that in the long run will not matter.

Do the right thing.

Be honest and act with integrity and wherever possible think of compromising.  Being honest and doing the right thing in the long run will help you come to terms with the separation emotionally and save you money.  If you lie or provide misleading information this can lead to an acrimonious and costly Court case which could have been avoided if you had been honest in the first place.

Be respectful of your own and your spouse’s feelings.

Take stock of how well or how badly your are both coping with the situation.  If one of you comes to terms with the separation quicker than the other, it is important to try not to show off by publicising a new relationship or your newly found social life.  Be respectful of each others feelings it will help you in the long run. 

Last but not least employ the services of a reputable solicitor.

Your friends, family and the internet will provide information  can which be misleading .  A good solicitor will help you understand your rights, protect your interests and explain how to keep your costs as low as possible.  Turn to friends and family for emotional support but leave the legalities to a specialist divorce solicitor.  Taking advice at an early stage will empower you to make decisions going forward.

If you are going through a separation and require professional and discrete legal advice please contact Harbinder Gosal on 0121 312 5176 or hgosal@thursfields.co.uk and let us make it  a less stressful process for you.